A Continuation of "Alabaster: The Cat with the Biggest Heart"
A Love Story by Lisa Torres-Feinberg
Editor's Note: This is the second part of an article that began in our last issue. To read part one, visit www.folsomfelines.org/newsletter/122006.
I met Alabaster in August of 1994 (I estimated his date of birth to be April 2, 1994 and used that date on all his paperwork) and he was with me until June of 2005. Essentially, Alabaster was with me for the entire turbulent decade of my twenties. During those years, my life circumstances changed drastically several times, and I changed my circle of friends, boyfriends, residences, and jobs quite often. I had labeled myself a commitment-phobe and prided myself on my ability to re-invent myself and my circumstances with outstanding ease and aplomb. As I moved from apartment in the city to condo on the beach to house on the suburbs and back again, discarding boy toys and day jobs with reckless disregard along the way, one thing remained constant in my life: Alabaster, my adored cat.
Alabaster handled the changes in my life as if he too had a restless spirit and thrived on variety. He easily adapted himself to new surroundings and new people. He always seemed very content and confident, even on moving days. Some cats get depressed or angry or out of sorts on a move, but not Alabaster! He was always up for the next adventure, and his personality fit in with mine seamlessly.
Along the way, I rescued a few other cats and placed them in homes, including "Mommycat," a sweet, no-nonsense type rescued with her 4 kittens from the trunk of a car that was headed to the salvage yard; I gifted her to my own parents. Before she went to my parents, Mommycat and her 4 kittens stayed with me; Alabaster, not being a jealous cat, took to the visitors right away. I recall how funny it was that the kittens followed him around as if he were their dad, and if Alabaster went to the litter box, the 4 kittens would go to the litter box!
I also rescued an abused feral kitty I named Suki. I thought that I could tame her so she could be adopted, but found it impossible. She would scratch, bite, hiss, etc. every time I tried to touch her. She acted the same with Alabaster. One day, she had gotten free of her cage and was running around the apartment in a terrified frenzy. Alabaster cornered her in the kitchen and approached her. It was then I saw the most amazing interaction between two cats I have ever seen. He got down on his back and reached a paw towards her while meowing softly to her as if to plead with her to trust him. He talked to her so she could understand. She softened up and let him touch her gently, and realizing that he was not going to hurt her, she accepted him. From that moment on, Alabaster was Suki's best friend and he was the only one she trusted. Unfortunately, she ran away at the first opportunity and never came back.
So you see, Alabaster was a very special cat. There are many more stories like that about him -- how he won over people, other cats, vets, etc. Everyone loved him. Everyone was charmed by him. He had a charisma about him that made everyone his friend. He had this innate ability to get his needs and wants met without much effort.
It was around the turn of the century that I moved back with my parents in Tamarac, Florida. I was at a crossroads in my life and needed to figure out my next move. Not surprisingly, Alabaster quickly assumed the role of the dominant cat in the household, and, perhaps because he was older, he was less friendly with Mommycat than he had been years earlier. My parents adored Alabaster of course.
One day, Alabaster urinated in my bed, which he had never done. I took him to the vet and they told me he had a blockage, which he was treated for. My father, who had a sixth sense about things, kept telling me "that cat is sick." I would get upset and ignore him. Alabaster had always been a delicate cat. I took him for his yearly checkups but he had a number of minor things such as the urine blockage so it seemed he saw the vet quite often.
In the next couple of years, my life changed drastically again. My father died of a heart attack shortly after I met the man I was to marry. A year later my now husband had a job opportunity in California. He asked me to go with him, and since I was always up for an adventure, I agreed to go. My mom thought it best if I left Alabaster with her since we were driving cross-country. I didn't like to leave my Alabaster behind, but it made sense at the time. My thought was that I would later go get him once we were settled in California. I have to say that my husband (then fiancé) was not too keen on cats and preferred that Alabaster stayed in Florida with my mom. A year later, my mom came to visit, bringing Alabaster with her as I had asked her to. My plan was for Alabaster to stay, but my then fiancé made it clear that he didn't want my cat to stay (especially after Alabaster clawed up his furniture). My mother sided with him, and I heartbrokenly allowed my Alabaster to go back home with my mother.
I don't know why I didn't stand my ground. It still bothers me to this day that I didn't fight harder for what I wanted. When they left, I constantly thought of Alabaster. I missed him and I felt he missed me. I couldn't stop thinking of him or talking about him. I kept saying to both my husband and my mother that I wanted Alabaster with me, and they kept trying to convince me that he was better off in Florida.
By the way, I inherited that sixth sense thing my father had, but I have never learned to trust it. Every time I called my mother, I asked her how Alabaster was doing, and when one day she told me he wasn't acting like himself, I knew. She said he seemed to be out of breath often. I told her to please take him to the doctor and I would pay for everything. She finally took him and the vet kept him overnight to give him oxygen. The news was not good -- he had congestive heart failure due to cardiomyopathy.
The next day I took the quickest flight back home I could find to be with my cat before he died. I thought this was the end and was hoping he would hang in there until I could see him again before he moved on. I prayed more than I had ever prayed in my life. I cried the whole plane ride. I was angry at myself for not having fought to have Alabaster with me. If he had been with me, I would have noticed something was wrong much sooner, and maybe I could have saved him. I was angry with my mom and angry with my husband. How could they not know how much this cat meant to me? How could they have conspired to keep me away from him and how could I have allowed it? I called to Alabaster psychically and told him I was coming so he could hang on to life.
When I got there, he had improved a bit. He was given several treatments and medications. The vet told me he only had a few months at most left. I took him home and gave him his medicines and laid in bed with him, hearing his loud purr in my ear just like old times. I finally brought him to California to live out the last few months of his life.
The "few months" left was not exactly accurate. An average cat perhaps in an average household might have lasted a few months, but with my constant devotion and constant medical attention Alabaster lived another two years with me. During those two years I had to take him, close to death, to the vet a couple of times. He was taken to the cat cardiologist in Davis where they said they had never seen a cat alive with such an enlarged heart. They couldn't believe he was still alive. I had to monitor his breathing daily and give him Lasik, which in turn made him so dehydrated that his kidneys were always on the verge of failing. Sometimes I had to administer subcutaneous fluids at home. It was always a balancing act -- keeping him dehydrated for his heart but not too dehydrated for his kidneys. I didn't give him the other heart medicines because I found they made him loopy, and the goal was to maintain his quality of life and keep him happy and alert. He had mellowed a bit with his illness but I didn't want any meds changing his personality completely.
He was very happy those last two years. Alabaster and I would go out for walks together like in the old days. He made a friend at the apartments -- a scrappy grey cat that belonged to another apartment but lived mostly outdoors. They would hang out together. Then, we moved to our home in El Dorado Hills. I feared these drastic changes might harm him but he adapted quickly to the changes as he always had. I believe the security he felt with me by his side helped him. He had no doubt that I was completely devoted to him and would do anything for him. I think he knew all that I was doing for him. This made him feel secure even in the midst of chaos.
I read everything I could about cardiomyopathy and probably know more about it than the average undergrad veterinary student. I put Alabaster on a special diet and was constantly monitoring his breathing and adjusting his medicines accordingly. I was determined to keep Alabaster alive for as long as possible and to make his last days on earth the most pleasant a cat could have. Every night Alabaster slept by my side, purring as loud as an old car's motor. Every night I talked to him, told him I loved him, and felt his love for me. Every night I prayed to God to keep him alive a bit longer and to thank Him for this miracle. I knew it couldn't last forever but I was grateful for every minute I had with my Alabaster.
Alabaster had been doing great on his meds for awhile. The only problem was that he liked to go out to eat grass and then come in and throw up. I let him go outside because he loved the feel of grass and sun and he never went far since he was sick. He just laid on the grass and soaked up the rays and then came inside.
It took me by surprise the day he yelped in pain and then couldn't move his hind legs. I had read about this on the Internet. It was feline aortic thromboembolism, and I knew this to be an emergency. I took him to the emergency room, thinking "we will get through this again," but this time it was a little different. The vet told me that they could not operate because Alabaster's heart would not withstand it, and that he was in pain and he wouldn't recover from this. He urged me to put him to sleep. I never thought I would have to do that. I refused. He told me that Alabaster was suffering and that I really should let him go.
I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. I am still not sure. I cried and cried and held Alabaster on my stomach and tried talking to him but I didn't know what to say. On hindsight, I should have asked him to give me the answer -- he would have. But I didn't ask him. I just said goodbye and told him that we would see each other again maybe in the next life. I held Alabaster on my lap as he passed on.
Even though I said goodbye to Alabaster as he took his last breath, I still waited for him in my dreams. After my dog died, he had visited me in a dream to tell me he was okay, and I felt better after that; I was able to let go. I have also talked to my father in dreams. So I asked Alabaster to visit me in a dream but he never did. I am still waiting.
I did sacrifice a lot for Alabaster in those last 2 years. Most notably, I did not have the wedding of my dreams because I didn't want to leave Alabaster overnight. See, every day I feared would be his last. For two years I lived like that -- feeling that he could go at any moment. It makes you appreciate every day more, but it is also difficult to say the least.
A month after Alabaster died, I became pregnant. I think my body knew that I couldn't handle another baby at that time so it opted to wait. Coincidentally, my estimated due date was April 2, 2006, the date I had determined Alabaster's birthday to be years ago. I love my baby in a way I could never imagine, but I will never forget Alabaster. In a sense, Alabaster was my first baby and he was the one that taught me how to love fully, deeply, unconditionally. He was the one that taught me how to love. 
About the Author
Born in New York and raised in Miami, Lisa now lives in El Dorado Hills with her husband Miles, their 10-month-old baby, Noah Aleksander, and the 2 cats they adopted from Folsom Feline Rescue: Kessler and Tiger. Lisa has been volunteering for cat rescue groups since 1996. Mommycat still lives with Lisa's mother in Florida. She is 11 years old and in good health.